I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
