i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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