Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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