even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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