wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize