My nipple is on Facebook.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
