So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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