I need help removing her.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
