i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
