Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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