i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
