theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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