she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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