dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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