look no pants
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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