it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
