he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
