I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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