3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
