didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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