So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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