If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
