can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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