Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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