i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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