Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Who died my cat blue again?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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