Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
