I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
