You just made me feel so damn special
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
