'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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