'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I deserve this hangover.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
