Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
