Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
last night I used snow as a chaser
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
