ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
