my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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