the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
