just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
