Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
