so explain again why im purple
no
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
