I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
