I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
