sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
