Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Randomize
