I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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