Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
