I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Randomize
