He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
