she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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