Screwed.edu
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
