marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
