Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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