please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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