i dont even know how to be here
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The power of my boobs compel you
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
