It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Randomize
