I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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