guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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