I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I can't trust your balls anymore.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize