You're so nebulous sometimes
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
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