we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just sucked dick on a ferry
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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