Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
