When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
