I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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