my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
