FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
