Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
